the_darkness243

Alright so we are all different and not one of us is the same for there is always something off that we have that no one else has or can do  yet it seems everyone is trying to be like this person or that person and it’s not as we should be. Why well those who act like someone else aren’t truly happy there is always something missing within their life’s and that something missing is the ability to be one’s self. You know those kids that are so “cool” And how they continuously bug people or make fun of people for being from them.  Well I will let you know something. You’re stronger than them and if you are one of them you should really open your eyes to the reality around you.  By taking off that mask you hide behind to just being yourselves. Taking the criticism thrown upon you, you become stronger and stronger and it will help for when you get older.

Labels are but labels that the media has given us. The label is not what maters it’s the person that is on the inside that does. So many people are missing what matters. So many people are looking to the way people dress to the size and shape of that person.  Yet no one is seeing the person for who they are on the inside. It’s like a one glance thing. If they don’t look the way you want them to, they’re not worth talking to in fact they are worth making fun of.  Come on people what are your problems cant you see just how badly this is hurting the individual that you are putting this upon? Do you ever stop to think if what you’re about to say or do to this person is worth it?

Telling people their emo because their depressed but do you ever think to stop and maybe ask what’s wrong instead of calling them a cry baby or telling them to go kill themselves... Do you ever think that the reason they are so sad could be so powerful that those words would be all it would take for them to end their life... Ever think maybe that person is so weak so upset so lonely that all they really want is a friend...Maybe someone to listen?  Of course not we have to be cool and to be cool we make fun of the weak. But guess what, you’re not cool you’re not cool at all in fact your making a fool out of yourselves in front of a crowd of people.

I admit I am what everyone would call an emo, goth, geek, bookworm, fatty whatever they can think off I have been called it over and over all through high school and it has driven me insane to the point of where I attempted suicide and could have died over it. I began to cut myself first for attention and now for pleasure. Does this make me emo? No it’s called a masochist it’s someone that finds pleasure out of pain it may be weird but hey everyone’s different.  But I used to be that kid that pretended to smile at everything, I used to be that kid that would cry when no one was looking the one that just wanted the bullying to end. But it continued and still does but I know now to live with it realizing I am better than them for I am not afraid to be who I am while they are.

So while they are in constant fear of losing their reputation we are living up to ours. While they have to live under constant guilt and karma we are living up to our own better positivity. So to all those who go through this hold your head up and be strong. Be yourself and ignore those who can’t. To all those who are the bully. What are you doing? Is it worth it? Is it worth being a liar?  Is it worth hurting and driving many people off the edge? Is it worth killing someone on the inside... You’re ruining peoples lives. Is it really worth it?

“I found myself going through many different types of relationships from the common cheater to the heart breaker to the abuser. I can’t say I have seen it all nor can I say I have seen most of it but I have seen an extant of it. I have shed tears to those I thought were real... I have lost what I thought was my everything, my dreams and my beliefs I’ve had them all run from my hands down between my fingers. My very life has shattered down upon me more than once...”

Love is a gift yet at the same time it can be a curse. It works both ends of good and evil. It’s the strongest form of trust, the thing that gives us comfort. It’s what makes us smile and put that warm feeling within our hearts. It gives us life, faith and hope.  Love has brought many things for this society. It has brought the smile on so many faces.” I never used to think love was something beautiful. In fact I was stuck on believing it was all fake, for most of my life I awaited heartache  welcomed it and knew it was going to come my way, but now that has changed. Now that I have opened my eyes to the world around me I see just how much love there is to see”

If you think about it, it is all around us, all around you. Whether it be from a friend, a close relative a passer by having sympathy for your pain. No matter who you are or what you are,  you are in fact loved. Because love is everywhere in everyone and it’s what bringing us together. Yet I suppose at the same time it’s bringing us apart.  We look at the common relationship to this day and most is all about the beauty of the other. What has happened to common personalities? It’s like no one seems to care about what matters most. Their looking for wealth for good looks and for someone they can show of and make friends over. Or maybe we all are controlled by our sex drives and all we want the other for is a nice turn on or some sexual activity.

Love isn’t anywhere near what it used to be but to those few who follow that path of looking to someone’s personality will be more lucky to keep a relationship than those that look towards looks. “Now I am not the most beautiful person in the world. In fact I never used to find myself pretty. I would look at myself and wonder why I was so ugly. I used to starve myself because of my weight hoping maybe someone would notice I had lost some weigh but the jokes continued and then all my friends had found relationships but me because I was ugly to them an emo that never spoke as they would say. It wasn’t just that but the conversations behind my back that drove me off my edge. I thought I had nothing in fact I felt alone like there was no one in this world that could help me no one that could give me what I wanted,  no one that would love someone as ugly as me.”

This is where I had gone wrong though because you see although we may be but one person if we find the ability to be patients we can obtain anything we wish to obtain. It may take longer for others but eventually it will come to you. Eventually you will find what you were looking for because just because you look or act this way or that way doesn’t mean you won’t find anyone. If you constantly live in fear and envy of others in love you will have a harder time finding the one that you will love. Take that step that one step you want to take and grab a hold of her or him. Talk to them and become friends but hiding you’re feelings for so long can make it so it’s too late.

See we all walk down the road of loneliness we all wonder when true love will come our way or when we will have that romantic first kiss and be held in another’s arms. We wonder when we will hear those three words that can me so much yet so little. “I love you” or another three “I need you” It’s amazing by just saying those two lines just how much they can mean and just how much you can show the person you love just how much you love them.

Speaking of love I thought I’d like to show you just how big of a chance you have for finding true love because you see there is millions of people in this world now think of yourself but one spec of sand on a beach full of millions of other specs of sand. Now about 2 thousand or more people will love your personality and about the same for your looks so there is 4 thousand people right there you just have to have patient’s and wait for the right one out of those 4 thousand find you.

So if you ever feel alone know someone out there is thinking about you someone out there loves you and always will there be someone out there that will love you because if there was no such thing as love we would already be dead cause it’s what we live on. Even if it is from a simple object we own. You see love is very unique in its own little way.  Unique yet we fear it most of the time. Fear what it will do to us if we go down the wrong path or find the wrong person. We fear it destroying us and taking away everything we hold in our hands. We fear what we like to call heartbreak.

Or maybe it’s not just heartbreak but loving someone we cannot have or loving someone that loves someone else. Which I know hurts a lot but when we see this we want to take from that person what they have. Why? Well because they have we want and when we want it we take it. Humans are really greedy and envies people and a lot of them are very competitive causing them not to stop till they have obtained what it is they want.  Or maybe they have something but want more so they go out to find more and with this it ends in heart break, trouble or the loss of what was once the trust of the two individuals.

It’s like a war between two or in some situations more than just that. We fight about the stupidest of things and take from each other for the stupidest of reasons. Yet there is a point where it really crosses the line when someone takes a life of another because of jealousy. Like sure I would understand you would be mad if your husband or wife, girlfriend of boyfriend cheated on you but would it be worth slaughtering them over? Is it really worth taking a life and ruining your whole reputation with the world, probably ending up in a cell instead of just moving on and moving out or going to a different house or kicking that person out of their house?  Like come on think common sense.. Think forgiveness. Not death and revenge. What does it do but cause more problems?

You hear about it on the news you see it in person you hear it from people you just know it has happened to someone whether it be an online blog a phone call or the news channel but for those whom do it... Do they have any heart? To see someone’s dying look in their very eyes....To watch them plea for them to stop....As each second of their life is taken away from them...Each breath becomes their last...Or maybe they survive and end up in a hospital running on machines cause they are to beat up to speak or even move. And people get off on this stuff... They enjoy it? Do they? I can’t see how anyone could it’s disgusting and very unethical.

Yet one thing that really ticks me off would be killing a loved one in front of a child because they had done something wrong to their lover. How do you think that child is going to grow up?  Knowing his/her father/mother killed one another right in front of her/his eyes. Watching mommy or daddy screaming while the other argues and fights, physically or emotionally think of what they are putting that child through. Think what that child is being taught.  Being shown...And having to grow up with. Another thing would be a mother father abusing their own child. Now correct me if I am wrong but aren’t you supposed to love your child. Not abuse you’re child?

“Now I know how it is to be abused emotionally. Because when I was little my parents used to fight nonstop all the time and it would never quit as much as I wanted it to or tried to run away my parents continued to argue right in front of me. They would throw shit and break cups and plates in anger. Swear at each other nonstop and yell about me right in front of me thinking I was too stupid to realize what they were saying but I knew I heard and understood every word coming from their mouths. When I tried to get away they would stop me.. They wouldn’t let me go which resorting in me waiting and watching them scream at one another for a long time...I lived like this up till I was 13 years old. By than my parents had divorced and my dad had gone on his recovery to stop drinking and doing drugs. From there it was a lot easier I suppose. A lot better than before”

Anyways enough of that, do you ever find yourself thinking you aren’t good enough for the one you love? Like they deserve better than you? Well I would like you to listen for a second because I want to tell you what the one you think deserves better thinks. You see their probably looking to you like you are the best thing that has ever happened to them  not wanting you to do as you say by letting them go for someone better. And by letting them go does it hurt you? If you love someone you should stay with them because they could possibly be that love of your life. It’s almost like the saying “Never leave the one you love for the one you like because the one you like will leave you for the one they love.” Seriously give yourself some credit. Just because you may not have the perfect looks or the perfect personality doesn’t mean you are not worthy enough for the one you love because the one you love probably loves you more than you can imagine.

So don’t give up hope because you aren’t the coolest of the bunch it’s not what matters on the outside but what matters on the inside. A picture holds 1000 words they would say. Yet the heart holds more than you can imagine.